Posted by: Lea | January 12, 2011

My Weight Loss Journey

Many of us begin a new year with a weight loss resolution, and I must confess, I, too, have made a resolution to lose weight in 2011. But what many of you don’t know is that I’ve gone through this before. Six years ago, I had weight to lose! I had been slowly gaining weight for years. I blamed it on the cold weather in Cleveland. I blamed it on a friend who ate whatever she wanted so I joined in. I blamed it on being lonely in Cleveland without many friends or family nearby. But at the end of the day, it was me. I was the one who accepted it. Each season, I would go and buy pants in a bigger size and put the smaller ones in the back of the closet.

In 2003, we moved back to Texas from Cleveland. I was back home. I started running in to people I knew from high school and college. I went to my 10-year high school reunion. And all the time, I knew I wasn’t happy with the way that I looked. In 2004, my husband and I went to Las Vegas for a getaway trip. When I got home, I was looking through the pictures, and I was stunned by what I saw. There was a picture of me in front of one of the dragons at the Excalibur Hotel. I was overweight. There was no other way to say it. How had I not seen it before? That was the kick in the pants that I needed. The next week, I began Weight Watchers.

Me at my heaviest

I was fortunate enough to join a Weight Watchers meeting where I had a fabulous leader and a fantastic group. We all fed off each other and learned from one another. I got recipe ideas. I learned new ways of eating, and I learned how truly bad for me the things I were eating were. I lived in Points. I followed the plan religiously. Over the course of 5 months, I lost 40 pounds. I was a Weight Watchers Lifetime member, and I not only met my weight goal, I had exceeded it by 8 pounds. I couldn’t believe the old me was hiding underneath all that fat. One thing to remember is that I never had a weight problem growing up. I was always skinny- no butt, no boobs. As I got older, the metabolism changed, but I kept eating the way I had been when I was 18. It wasn’t having a child that did it. It was just me.

Me After the Initial Weight Loss

I was so happy to have lost that much weight. I had lost more weight than my then 2-year old daughter weighed. I went crazy shopping for new clothes. And I loved buying jeans. I was into a Size 4! My husband and I went back to Vegas 9 months after that first photo, and the one thing I wanted to do was to go to the exact same spot and take a NEW photo- so I did.

I kept the weight off for a year, and then I found out I was pregnant with my son, Jack. I was so excited about his pending arrival, but I was sooo nervous about the weight coming back. But that did nothing to stop me from eating non-stop. I gained 25 pounds when I was pregnant with Riley in 2002. I gained 55 when I was pregnant with Jack. Once he was born, I knew I had work to do. I headed back to Weight Watchers when Jack was three weeks old. I started losing weight right away, but I didn’t make it down to where I needed (wanted) to be, but I was satisfied. I had gotten down to about 30 pounds below my initial starting weight. As time went on, I decided to head back to Weight Watchers. I lost the remaining 10 pounds, but I didn’t keep it off long. I had gained back about 5 of those pounds, and over the past few months the another 8 pounds have come back.

I hate to admit it, but I am very paranoid about my weight now. I tend to obsess over it (which never stopped me from eating like crap). I try not to, but after fighting so hard to lose the weight, I am secretly terrified that it will come back again. So after a food-filled holiday season, I am back at Weight Watchers. I have gone to my initial weigh in meeting and then back for my 2nd week weigh in, where I only lost .4 pounds. It’s the least amount of weight I have ever lost during my first week back at Weight Watchers. Was I discouraged? You betcha. But I know that it’s not always an easy journey. I have to work at it. I’m six years older than I was the first time so the weight may be a bit more stubborn (and I’m sure date night at the Melting Pot didn’t help either).

I’m determined to lose those pounds again. I’m also determined not to let my weight dictate my happiness. I’m not overweight now. I’m just not where I want to be, and I don’t want the cycle that started 10 years ago in Cleveland to start again.

I need some accountability so I’ll be recounting my Weight Watchers successes, failures and struggles here. Here’s hoping to getting back to my goal weight!

Me Now

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Responses

  1. always here for you #pea !!!! xoxox you are beautiful!

  2. Thanks for sharing your journey. I’m about to start over, and I can totally relate to the fear of messing up. 2011 is all about balance because I tend to either be all healthy all the time or all eat whatever I please all the time. I’m actually going to try Weight Watchers for the first time in just a few weeks. I’ve already started a 5K training program.

    I can so relate to looking at a picture and suddenly seeing yourself as a stranger. that happened to me when I got the church directory pictures in the mail one year. Of course, like you, I then got pregnant for a second time and ate entirely too much…usually to combat the freaky morning sickness feeling.

    I could go on and on, but keep on keeping on, and thanks for sharing!

  3. Well I am sure if you put your mind to it, you can lose it! 🙂 Add some exercise, or something.. My addiction is Zumba. I have a lot more weight to lose than you do, but moving has really helped getting me started 🙂 Have a great day!

  4. You look amazing now! -please try not to obsess too much! I can’t really talk as I’m the same, I spent a long time stressing about my weight and going through cycles of going up and down – the best thing to do is to just take one meal at a time and try to make the healthiest choice possible, allowing yourself a treat every so oftne.
    Seriously though you look beautifula nd have nothing to worry about x


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